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Post by Lady Elianna Tar-Minyatur on Aug 8, 2006 22:06:07 GMT -6
Everyone's got em - those quote they see that make them fall out of their chairs laughing till they cry. And everyone could use a good laugh - so post em here!"Shhh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. Including me.
Shhh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again.""We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the Foosa.
- The Hoosa?
The Foosa.
They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off."Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch though.
- So do you have any alive people?
No. Only dead ones. I mean if we had a lot alive people here, it wouldn't be called 'The Wild', would it?
- The wild? Hold up there a second. You mean like the living in mud hut? Wipe-yourself-with-leaf-type wild?
Who wipes?
- Would you excuse me for a moment?The Foosa! The Foosa are attacking!
Come on everyone, they are not attacking us this very instant! So my genius plan is this:
We will make the New York Giants our friends. And keep them close. Then with Mr. Alex protecting us, we will be safe and never have to worry about the dreaded Foosa! Ever again! I thought of that! I thought of that! Yes! Me!
- Hold on, hold on everybody.
I'm just thinking now. I mean, does anyone wonder why the
Foosa was so scared of Mr. Alex? I mean maybe we should be scared too. What if Mr. Alex is even worse than the Foosa?
I'm telling you that dude just gives me the hibigeevees.
- Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore your henious speech will be smitten from the record. Does anyone else have the hibigeevees?
No? Good. So shut up!"Booze is the answer!
....... what was the question again?"(Ironic; I find this the day after the doc insists that I needed to be eating lemons  ) "When life hands you lemons -
Squeeze them in people's eyes!"Many more to come, lol ;D
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Post by Lady Alias on Aug 14, 2006 13:22:00 GMT -6
I used to say "when life gives you lemons, make grape juice and watch everyone wonder how you did it"
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Post by Nienna Greenleaf of Mirkwood on Aug 16, 2006 20:15:43 GMT -6
My favorite used phrase: "It's all good." I use it on some people that I've just met and they think it's hilarious. I consider it one of my best ice breakers. For some people I guess they need to hear it.  Will post more later! Probably from movies! ;D |
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Post by Lady Elianna Tar-Minyatur on Aug 16, 2006 20:46:15 GMT -6
(As heard on Gerorge Lopez)
*grandma comes in, snockered as can be; passes out on couch*
George: Ok, honey, listen quick. We have eight hours till she wakes up. We can have her deep into Mexico by then. We'll put her in a Picachu suit, and leave her with a stick and a note that says "Beat me, I have candy inside!"
(As heard on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition)
"Her sister may be a girly girl, but Harley - she's a tomboy.
Likes dirt."
(I have no idea why, I just found the way he said it incredibly hilarious)
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Post by Lady Greywings on Aug 16, 2006 22:59:39 GMT -6
One of my friends had this on her message machine
"Suicide hotline, please hold"
and then these are some quotes the same person always sends me in these emails (she's my humor source xD)
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"I was wondering why frisbees get bigger as they come closer, and then it hit me!"
"Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs"
And yeah.... not as funny as the others xD but it be what I had ja!
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Post by Nienna Greenleaf of Mirkwood on Aug 17, 2006 6:53:26 GMT -6
(As heard on Gerorge Lopez)*grandma comes in, snockered as can be; passes out on couch* George: Ok, honey, listen quick. We have eight hours till she wakes up. We can have her deep into Mexico by then. We'll put her in a Picachu suit, and leave her with a stick and a note that says "Beat me, I have candy inside!" LOL I love that!!! Picachu! ;D (As heard on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition)"Her sister may be a girly girl, but Harley - she's a tomboy. Likes dirt." (I have no idea why, I just found the way he said it incredibly hilarious) Hmm I guess that would make ME a tomboy! *does happy dance* And I liked yours too, Grey. ;D When I get my own phone (SOMEDAY) I want to have a really bizarre answering machine saying. lol __________________ I could go through a thousand quotes from Monty Python but it would take me all day. Obviously, I don't have all day. But I'll try anyway. ;D ~~ Dennis: "Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony." Arthur: "Be quiet!" Dennis: "Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!" Arthur: (grabs Dennis' arm) "Shut up, will you? SHUT UP!" Dennis: "Ah now we see the violence inherited in the system! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!! Arthur: Bloody peasant!! |
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Post by Lady Alias on Aug 17, 2006 9:47:02 GMT -6
These are from Wicked.
GALINDA
Elphie - now that we're friends, I've decided to
make you my new project.
ELPHABA
You really don't have to do that
GALINDA
I know. That's what makes me so nice!
--
These are from other things:
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
Beryl Pfizer
--
Murphy's Laws
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
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Post by Galuwen on Sept 14, 2006 0:28:08 GMT -6
One of my friends had this on her message machine "Suicide hotline, please hold" and then these are some quotes the same person always sends me in these emails (she's my humor source xD) "42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot." "I was wondering why frisbees get bigger as they come closer, and then it hit me!" TOO FUNNY!!!! |
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Post by The Restless Shadow on Jan 10, 2008 11:45:47 GMT -6
"Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your
own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of
bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in."
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Post by Nienna Greenleaf of Mirkwood on Jan 10, 2008 12:25:25 GMT -6
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! That's disgusting, but I can't help but laugh. lol Sorry, saw Pirates of the Caribbean 3 yesterday and I feel like I should quote from the 1st and best of the movies. "Do us a favor. I know this is hard for you. But please, stay here...and try not to do anything...stupid..." |
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Post by The Restless Shadow on Jan 10, 2008 12:31:44 GMT -6
If you fall in the mud, it's not a good idea to stand up and say "I AM THE KING OF MUD CITY, AND YOU ARE ALL MY MUD PEOPLE!"
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Post by Nienna Greenleaf of Mirkwood on Jan 10, 2008 13:00:34 GMT -6
LOL!!! Where is that from?
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Post by The Restless Shadow on Jan 10, 2008 13:06:15 GMT -6
a file on my computer,lol
Actualy, I think it was from All That, a show on Nickelodeon a looong time ago, when it was good,lol
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Post by Lady Elianna Tar-Minyatur on Jan 11, 2008 23:44:44 GMT -6
(Speaking of those moment when he has the chance to "do something courageous"):
"Oh, THOSE moments. Yes. I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by."
"I was really, really depressed one right, so I called a "Suicide Helpline.
Turns out, I got a center based out of Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited & started asking if I could drive a truck."
"So, you're a suicide bomber?"
"Yes."
"So, would you kill me if you were assigned to?"
"Are you kidding? I kill you for a Klondike bar!"
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Post by The Restless Shadow on Jan 12, 2008 0:08:13 GMT -6
LMFAO ;D ;D
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)
. But he is the greatest person ever and I ♥ him!
